Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Consider my own horn tooted

Most of you who read this (if you still read this since I am the worst blogger in the history of the blogiverse) know I joined the Weight Watchers at Work program back in April after I was horrified by the pictures of myself at Charlie's birthday party. As of today I have lost 41.2 pounds and have a little under 20 pounds to go to reach my goal. Obviously, I was aware that I looked different, mostly because people at work are always stopping me to tell me that. Plus the fact that I've had to buy jeans three sizes smaller than I used to and all my bras are too big. But nothing quite drives the point home like some before and after pictures. So even though I still have a ways to go, here is today's motivation:

Before (March 2013)
 In Progress (September 2013)

Conclusion: Wow, my face was fat. Yeesh.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Playing Catch Up

Clearly I need prompts to keep me writing because I totally fell off the wagon. That's been kind of a theme since I fell off the weight loss wagon with my birthday and Cash's birthday, but I'm back on it now so here goes. Don't expect greatness.

I am getting more and more excited about my new nieces! Looking at baby girl stuff is making my ovaries hurt, but I'll stick with my two boys for now. I've ordered my sister's long-distance shower invitations and can't wait to get those in the mail so pretty ribbons and bows start showing up at her door! She had a checkup yesterday and they are weighing in at 1 pound, 10 ounces and 1 pound, 13 ounces which is great for twins at this stage (24 weeks I think). Now if they would just settle on names so we can stop calling them Baby A and Baby B!

Charlie is getting more into communication every day. He's started nodding his head for yes and saying "No" although he is not always to be believed. We're getting new words all the time, including "oos" for shoes, which kills me with its cuteness. Speaking of "oos" I had to buy him new ones because his feet grew a size in three months. These giant children are going to bankrupt me.

Cash continues to love swim lessons, which I am so thrilled about. His shyness sometimes prevents him from wanting to try new things, so it is awesome for me to see him emerge from the pool area and tell me how great he did that day and all the things he's learning. I'd love for him to take up swimming as a sport, but even if he just has fun and learns enough to be safe in the water, I'm cool with that.

I continue to be amazed at how different my boys are. We went for a walk/bike ride on the greenway this weekend, after which we stopped at the playground. Charlie was off and running without a look back while Cash hung back, waiting for Jason or me to come with him. Now that he's a little older we usually encourage him to go over without us, because there will be lots of times when we aren't there and we want him to gain the confidence to do things on his own. It's slow going, but we're seeing changes. He may always require a little "warm-up time" when encountering someone new or a new situation, but after that he does interact and have fun. I'm hoping Kindergarten this year (and hopefully a better teacher) will help expand his horizons and teach him more about approaching other kids. As Charlie gets older I'm sure he will drag him out of that shell a little bit too. You can see how much he loves his big brother, even if Cash mostly just wants Charlie to stay away from him and his stuff. But there are moments when Cash will push Charlie around on one of his ride-on toys or they will wrestle on the couch that warm my heart and make me so glad I have these two little dirt-loving, car-obsessed, sweaty little boys.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Skipping around a little bit

(So I'm skipping some of the Every Day in May prompts. Some of them just don't appeal to me.)

Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

There are no shortage of things in this world that get me up in arms, that's for sure. It's no secret that I am a huge bleeding heart liberal, and therefore pretty much the entire conservative agenda pisses me off. It's the blatant hypocrisy that kills me. They can tell us we can't marry someone of the same gender because of the "sanctity" of marriage, even if they've been married four times and had extramarital affairs. They can eliminate sex education, then force women to give birth to children they can't support, and then de-fund all the programs that are in place to support the children they cared so much about when they were in the womb but apparently become mooching parasites as soon as they take their first breath. They can scream and yell about taxes and hide their money in offshore accounts but are the first ones to send our military (funded by tax dollars) to war. They lament that we are falling behind other countries in academics but slash education funding at every opportunity. They say that terrorists "hate us for our freedom" and then seek to impose laws based on their own personal religious beliefs. And please don't get me started on religion. Oy vey.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

It feels like kind of a cop out to say money because hey, welcome to the real world, but there it is. Mainly I worry about the increase in cost for Cash to attend the small Kindergarten program he is going to in the fall, and then what we will do next year as far as school goes. We'll be paying almost $100 more per month than we paid for his preschool, but even that is a drop in the bucket compared to what private school costs. So I have no idea what we will do if public school still doesn't seem to fit the bill for him after this year. The school we like does have financial aid, but the typical award is only 20-30% of tuition. So yeah. There's a big part of my brain stamped with "MONEY."

Aside from that, I'm always struggling with how to teach Cash to be more outgoing. I've seen him trying to talk to another child, but he speaks so quietly and he doesn't say anything to get their attention so they have no idea he's talking to them. I thought going to preschool was supposed to teach him social skills, but we've got a ways to go on that front. Of course, we've also come a long way from the 2-year-old who used to cry every day when it was time for school. So who knows what the next couple of years may bring!

Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

Not unlike Cash, I was an angsty child. I worried a lot. If we talked about fire safety in school, I worried our house would burn down. If I saw a scary movie, I worried a scary clown was going to get me. I worried about burglars. I worried about doing well in school so much that my Mom had to take me to meet with my first grade teacher to convince me I wasn't failing first grade. (I had the best grades in the class.) I worried about what other people thought of me. I worried about my weight (yes, even at a pretty young age, which is sad). I don't know why I was so worried and angsty, and I don't remember when I stopped being so angsty (to some extent, I still am). But I remember many nights moving from my bed to the sofa in the living room because it was right outside my parents' room. I remember worrying what my parents thought about me sleeping out there. I also remember a long stretch when I outright refused to sleep in my bed, so my Dad slept in there and I slept with my Mom. I always felt bad and like I was inconveniencing them, but that was better than laying in bed, paralyzed with fear. That is one of the big reasons we still co-sleep. I don't ever want Cash to feel badly about being afraid or wanting to be near me at night. He starts off in his bed, we read together and I lay with him until he falls asleep. Without fail, at some point in the night, he wakes up and comes to my bed, and I have never said a word to him that might indicate I have a problem with that. I would much rather scrunch in bed between my two boys than have him lying in his bed, paralyzed by fear the way I used to.

Friday, May 17, 2013

A favorite photo of yourself and why

One of the first pictures of me as a mother.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

Hmm. I don't usually consider myself to have a "lot" in life. I mean, would life be easier with more money? Definitely. But my kids are fed, clothed and well cared for. We own a home. We both have jobs. And just those three things put us miles ahead of millions of people in this world.

The one thing I am always working to improve is the way I parent. I am, and always have been, a little short on patience. And when you live with a 1 and 4 year old, you really need an unending supply. Especially when they are both Mama's boys who want your full attention at every moment. We've had more good days than bad lately, but it is a conscious effort for me not to lose it when Charlie has dug old paper plates or banana peels out of the trash for the fourth time in a row and Cash is yelling at me to put Charlie in his high chair because he doesn't want to be near him. Yeah. Lots of deep breaths.

There's also the challenge of raising a child who is so unlike you in so many ways. Or at least unlike the current you. I was also very timid and shy as a child, but (clearly) I outgrew it. So it's hard for me to understand sometimes how freaked out Cash gets in certain situations, so I have to remind myself to look at it as little kid Callie, not grown-up Callie. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.